IF THERE WAS A CULT, I'D JOIN

Anyone who knows me KNOWS how I feel about television -- I hate it. I haven't voluntarily watched it for almost eighteen years and don't miss it at all. In fact, it drives me INSANE when I'm accidentally exposed to it. It is no exaggeration to say that I would much rather drive two hundred miles in a hot, unventilated car with six cigar smokers and a flatulent Saint Bernard than watch the evening news.

My biggest beef is with commercial television, in that it exists solely as a medium to deliver commercials; the only reason the shows are there is to keep you sitting in your seat for the commercials. (See "Four Arguments For The Elimination of Television" for more information.)

But PBS... well, I've always thought it was a good idea, though I didn't actually watch it myself. I enjoy documentaries and occasionally pick one up at the local library to watch while my hubby and I work from home. PBS, as a concept, is cool with me -- it is actual communication in my book, and beats the *&$%#! out of commercial television. (Public access is okay too as far as I'm concerned.)

Now that I have children, it is up to me to decide what they see on the box, if anything. Most cartoons are RIGHT OUT -- they're way too violent and way too frenetic. ADHD anyone?

Even shows like Sesame Street don't really make the cut for me. For one, there is no evidence (and actually evidence to the contrary) that exposure to "educational" television actually creates any kind of learning. It may create mimicry (mimicry!) but it does not actually lead to comprehension or useful reading skills. (See "Endangered Minds: Why Children Don't Think.") Developmentally and neurologically speaking, SS is actually very appropriate for a five to eight year old, but not for a toddler.

Neuroplasticity is my new favorite subject -- what we put into our brains effects our thoughts as well as the actual physical structure of our thinking organ. This is true of adults and is profoundly so for children.

So why would I want to load up a brain with conflict, violence and hypnotic flashing lights? (I'm talking about cartoons here, not CNN.) Television causes a lovely hypnotic alpha state so that all those message can slide right in, forever embedded somewhere in the psyche.

So what would I let my children watch? Even on PBS?

Ah, yes... Back there in the sub-basement of my pre-verbal psyche I found a reassuring voice, an old friend who might have had something to do with the shreds of self-esteem I managed to pull out of my childhood. To this day I find cardigan sweaters reassuring...

I love Mr. Rogers -- if he isn't a saint he should be. I will build me a shrine to Fred -- St. Fred of Neighborliness. If he wasn't dead I'd write to him and ask him to be my grandpa.

He really was a fabulously wonderful human being. My friend Paisley has always adored him, and now that I've looked into the matter, I certainly see why.

It isn't something that I could have appreciated by just remembering it from childhood. Rather, The Total Mr. Rogers Experience cannot fully be grasped, I think, unless one revisits him as an adult with the understanding of the concepts he is slowly, methodically, consciously putting into children's minds everyday.

He genuinely did care about children, how they felt, and how important it was for them to know that they were loved and appreciated for who they are just as they are. Unfortunately, this is not a message that all children receive all of the time, or even some of the time in some cases. So, if nothing else, at least Mr. Rogers liked them, and he would tell them so every day.

And he really did like children -- it wasn't just a gimmick to get a paycheck. (Oh yeah -- public television pays SO much.) He was a minister and he considered the interaction between himself and the viewer to occur in sacred space. (See "Fred Rogers: America's Favorite Neighbor.")

He also saw the big picture, that the world would truly be a better place if it was filled with people who liked and felt good about themselves. Self-love and self-acceptance are the first steps to compassion and tolerance; to this end he hoped to have a positive impact upon the world by being a loving, accepting role model to young children.

And neurologically speaking, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood IS appropriate for small children. There are no flashing lights, no instant jumps from one place to another, no abrupt visual cuts to bombard a child's developing brain.

Instead, it is slower, more "real" than most television. It is like hanging out with Fred in his really cool place with the funky curtains and goldfish who needs to be fed. We get to follow him into the kitchen, into the bathroom, and ultimately around his neighborhood to meet the interesting people who live there.

Also, he deals with real issues that come up in life but which adults often avoid discussing with children. Death. Fear. Disabilities. Divorce. Anger. Unlike most of the adult world, Mr. Rogers deals directly with these issues in a caring, compassionate way. He lets kids know that these things happen, that it is okay to have feelings about them, and that there are constructive ways to express those feelings.

I read, I researched and then I actually watched an episode of Mr. Rogers one morning at SEVEN A.M. (!!!) on my parents' television set. (My television was neutered long ago -- it doesn't get stations.) The only negative thing I have to say about the show is that it is on ridiculously early -- no one in my house is up at that hour unless we've had the misfortune to be up all night.

So, that very day, I went out and bought a ten pack of video tapes to give to someone with cable (and clear reception) so that they could tape it to be watched at more reasonable times. It was too cool -- in the episode I happened to see, I learned how to play a saw with a bow, how to get different effects, make music, etc..

I also learned that watching Mr. Rogers is very therapeutic for me. I really believe that a half an hour a day of hearing "you're wonderful just the way you are" would go a long way toward greater happiness for many, many people in this culture.

Lesson of the day: You're never too old for Mr. Rogers.

I'll leave you with a few lyrics....

It's you I like
It's not the things you wear.
It's not the way you do your hair,
But it's you I like.

The way you are right now,
the way down deep inside you,
Not the things that hide you
Not your toys--they're just beside you.

But it's you I like.
Every part of you--
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.

I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you I like,
it's you yourself
It's you. It's you I like.